Thursday, December 20, 1917
COLDEST EVER KNOWN HERE
Two horses standing close for warmth froze together and the owner is training them to keep step.
It was so cold that it froze the edge off of a double bitted axe.
It was so cold that a prominent man was detained on the street the other day for some time by having his shadow frozen to the ground. He had to wait until a policeman peeled it from the ground. The owner of the shadow who lives in a distant city rolled the shadow up and sent it home by parcel post. Mark Twain records a similar cold in the Arctic.
It was so cold that you could carry a quantity of water on your shoulder like a log.
It was so cold that a walking stick was frozen and changed into a monkey wrench.
It was so cold that a man fell down on the street and broke the third commandment.
The weather was as cold as an enthusiastic New England audience…
FUEL
I’ve worked since a bit of a shaver,
I’ve lived in an inclement clime,
And it seems to me sometimes that Fuel
Has taken up most of my time;
The hired girl, she was the first one,
She eat up the wood as it were,
That I had prepared with a dull axe.
And I learned about Fuel from her.
Then there was my old aunt Samanthy,
Where rhuematiz dwelt and remained
She was cross as she could be on good days,
And always got worse when it rained;
She roomed up two flights in the attic
As pleasing and smooth as a burr
I carried her coal and her kindling,
I learned about Fuel from her.
I played a sub-part in a wedding,
And moved to a modest abode,
And laid in a stock of provisions,
And purchased some wood by the load;
The missus was good at the cooking,
But every wed man will infer,
I had to chop wood and make fires,
I learned about Fuel from her.
Now our beloved country, Columbia;
Is fighting the dastardly Hun,
And Fuel is power, and only
By power is war to be won;
Columbia says, Make your small fires,
Sit closer, and save, my dear Sir!
I sit by a flickering fireplace,
I learn about Fuel from her.
I hope the good Lord will reward me,
Far more than I ever deserve,
With a place in a celestial chorus,
There to carry a tune with due verve;
Then I know that a part of the burden
Of sin and distress, I unload,
Will be Fuel, for that is an item,
Consigned to another abode.
– – –
The Indian said that the great difference between him and a white was that the Indian would build a small fire and sit close to it. And that is the lesson in economics that should be studied today.
The Indian’s idea of keeping warm is the one that is being urged by every political economist in America this day. It is to build smaller fires and sit closer to them…
Pa and Ma have a conference. Coal is needed to win the war. It has been taking about ten tons to get them through the winter. They have the average cottage home of America where there is more comfort than in any other worldly existence. They decide that they will keep the big stove going in the sitting room and have no fire in the parlor and none in the bedrooms. The dining room fire is abandoned, and the folks eat in the kitchen, and realize for the first time that the buckwheat cake is ruined when it is transported from one room to another. They make an effort to use more wood in the kitchen, and they get through the winter of unusual severity, and save five tons of coal, or one half the coal bill. Surely virtue has its own reward…
HILLS
We are having some of the coldest winter weather, the thermometer registering 18 degrees below zero.
Forrest Weiford returned to his home at Warwick Thursday, after spending several days the guest of his sister, Mrs. W. H. Dilley.
Guy Bambrick came up from Marlinton to spend Thanksgiving with home folks and has been confined to his bed with a severe attack of grippe.
Miss Leoma Pennybacker, who is teaching the Moore school on Knapps creek, was visiting her sister, Miss Phyllis, who is teaching the Mt. Zion school.
The Thanksgiving entertainment that was given at Mt. Zion Church by the young people of the community proved a grand success. The program consisted of recitations, dialogues, and vocal and instrumental music… After the entertainment a number of beautiful boxes were sold which contained supper that the young ladies had prepared and the sum of $32.50 was realized which went to the benefit of the Red Cross.
DURBIN
Coal, wood and sugar is as scarce as hen teeth in Durbin.
Warren Richards is preparing to start a restaurant in his property at this place.
J. A. Sharp, in charge of the Lloyd Burner farm, was here Saturday on business.
J. W. Goodsell motored to Elkins and back in seven hours last week. He was on hurried business.
C. M. Keller of Brush Mountain, was in town with a load of produce last week.
