When and why did humans begin kissing?
The science and history of smooching, swapping spit, French kissing, osculation, and premastication.
“Kisses Sweeter Than Wine” – Jimmie Rodgers, 1957
Do you remember your first kiss?
Your first romantic kiss is one of those memorable experiences you will never forget, like where you were on 9/11, or in my case, where I was when President Kennedy was shot. That initial lip lock is stored in long-term memory to be brought out, dusted off, and remembered for its delight or humiliation, whichever the case.
I am not referring to the kisses you received from your mother or that aunt who wore the garish red lipstick you had to wipe off on your shirt sleeve. I’m speaking about the delightful kiss you experienced behind the bleachers or at the drive-in movies.
I am revealing my age, aren’t I? However, a stolen kiss behind the computer mainframe seems far less romantic.
I enjoyed my first kiss on the banks of California’s Napa River in 1963 when I was 14 years old and unskilled in the art of anything vaguely romantic.
Jane was a gun-toting 16-year-old neighbor and an attractive young woman. I might add that she was not a bad shot, hence her nickname, Calamity Jane.
Calamity and I picked a poor time of the day for wing-shooting ducks and instead laid on our backs on the levee, talking about everything of interest to juveniles – cars, movies, music, etc.
It happened somewhat unintended during a lull in the conversation. We both turned toward each other and discovered we were face-to-face, nose-to-nose. Our deep gaze seemed to last for several minutes, and although I can’t remember who made the first move, we closed our eyes and found each other’s lips.
I knew right then and there that this strange human ritual had advanced me further down adolescence’s awkward and bewildering road.
That unexpected kiss was the extent of our fleeting romance, but it was a pivotal moment for me, and I hope for Jane, as well. I wondered if it was Jane’s first kiss, but the young fellows in the local trap-shooting club assured me it was most certainly not.
There was to be more of this delightful activity coming my way, but Jane was the first to stir these primal feelings in me that were previously obscure at best. So, hats off to Calamity Jane, who is probably now teaching her grandchildren to drop two teal with one shot.
I was so euphoric after the lengthy round of kissing I felt like I could walk across the Napa River on the water. Nothing, and I mean nothing, would ever be the same after that day.
I walked home across the marshes with a swagger.
“You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.” As Time Goes By, Casablanca, 1942.
Consider for a moment how a kiss might look to someone from a culture that doesn’t express affection in such a manner. The overused word “gross” comes to mind, and with good reason, if taken from a scientific point of view.
When you enjoyed your first romantic kiss, I bet you weren’t thinking about the million microbial bacteria you just exchanged with your innocent sweetheart.
Indeed, DNA studies show that humans have been spreading diseases like herpes, mononucleosis, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and many other pathogens for eons.
Yet, even with this potential risk, most of us, if not all, would not let this stand in the way of kissing our lover.
Why is this?
Because the romantic kiss, be it a mere peck on the lips or a deep French kiss, is often a prelude to other sensualities. The kiss, at least here in the West and France, is ubiquitous. We don’t expect it on the first date, but we are confident it will happen on the second date.
Have you ever seen a Hollywood film without the three main essentials; squealing tires, gunshots and kissing?
There are really four essentials, but that’s about as far as I can go with this line of thought as it may lead into the sort of article one might read in Penthouse or Playgirl.
And nobody in Pocahontas County would read such publications, right?
Please pardon these digressions from the main topic. Now, back to our original discussion.
Of course, you weren’t considering the health hazards of kissing unless you are a germaphobe. And, if you are, you should exercise due caution before delving further into the other sensual pleasures that may present themselves in future romantic relationships.
Good luck with that: few possess such discipline.
Author’s note: I hope you appreciate the previous carefully-crafted sentences. We are not living in France or Southern California, as you know. The residents of these mountains still value modesty and moderation in all things.
A kiss is not just a kiss; sometimes, it is just a meal.
Theories abound on how something that could be viewed as disgusting came to have so much meaning for at least 90 percent of the human population.
We’ll begin by discussing premastication, which some researchers feel is the precursor to romantic kissing. Premastication, also called kiss-feeding and pre-chewing, occurs when food is chewed and sometimes regurgitated to feed babies or others who are incapable of chewing their own food.
Premastication may play a beneficial role for babies. Pre-chewing may afford the infant a boost to their immune system directly from their mother.
Premastication is found among many primates other than humans. Chimpanzees, orangutans, gorillas, and the most peaceful of all primates, the bonobo, spends a lot of time kiss-feeding infants and others.
Bonobos and other primates also mimic kiss-feeding, sans the food, with other adults in their troop. This fact leads some researchers to regard premastication as the progenitor of kissing.
In next week’s edition of this column, we’ll explore the various theories of how kissing became a mainstream activity in most of the world – but not all of it. Public kissing in some of the world’s locations can result in anything from a fine to being stoned to death.
Those indigenous groups who do not kiss refrain from doing so for many reasons besides mere disgust. In Sudan, one group of non-smoochers believes that the mouth is the doorway to the soul, and kissing might allow their soul to escape.
I would guess these Sudanese fear their souls may go to Texas or North Dakota if they escape.
(Why there is both a South Dakota and a North Dakota is an American enigma. I have driven through both states often and can’t tell one from the other; both offer an identically boring drive. But then again, South Dakota has the Black Hills, which are worth a look-see. North Dakota has… sorry, I can’t remember anything worth mentioning.)
In next week’s For Your Consideration, we will continue exploring kissing by pitting evolution against learned behavior, the old nature vs. nurture controversy. We’ll also examine kissing from a cultural aspect, as well as the many connotations of kissing.
Finally, like an archaeologist, we’ll wield our shovels and dig down into when that first kiss of humanity took place.
Ken Springer
Ken1949bongo@gmail.com
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Last week, the end of “For Your Consideration” was left out of the paper. It is included below:
So, readers, if you are still reluctant to accept that dogs can love humans, you may have to question human love. After all, from a physiological standpoint, the process of love in a dog is indistinguishable from that of a human.
Then again, we may conclude that love doesn’t exist in humans other than as a chemical reaction for breeding purposes. (How does that make you feel?)
And, looking around the world today, love appears to be on the wane among humans and on the rise in canines.
If your strong scientific bent will not allow you to call the affection we experience with dogs love, then go the nerd route and call it an interspecies oxytocin-mediated positive loop.
This episode of For Your Consideration is dedicated to the women and men of the Humane Society of Pocahontas County, who generously give their time to make the world safer and more humane for cats and dogs.